Step one: Acknowledge the problem

Okay, okay. There won’t be 12 steps.  I don’t even know or care what an official program would dictate for me to take toward happiness.  But I do know that  recognizing the issue is pretty important, right?

A couple of weeks ago, Ryan and I had a Come-to-Jesus (ironic, considering how “religious” we are) about, well, me.  My moods were honestly unbearable for all of us.  Most days were ending in tears, I was yelling more than usual, and really, nothing was letting up.  It seemed my postpartum hormones were taking over my life.

So Ryan gave me a way out.

He told me to seek help.

Now, I’ve done the whole therapy thing before.  I know my old demons very well, and I didn’t feel like that kind of help would be…uh…helpful.

So I decided to talk to my OB at my 6 week checkup, which actually happened at 8 weeks.  I shouldn’t say “talk” since what I actually did was cry my eyes out.  She told me that it was okay, to stop being so hard on myself, and that she’d write me a prescription.  For Zoloft.

This little suggestion took me by surprise. Not sure why, since it’s not like she could braid my hair or paint my toenails or make me my favorite cookies to improve my outlook.  And so I asked the most important question I could muster:

Will it make me fat?

She laughed, said no, and also mentioned (as I should have care more about this anyway) that it would be fine even though I’m breastfeeding.  Yes, I should have asked that first.

Anyway, so here I am almost a week into my Zoloft treatment.  Doc said it would take a week to feel better and already I feel better equipped to handle all the chaos of my home.  I am not overreacting, and at the least, I feel calmer.

So is this end of story? To be happy, all I needed was a pill?

NOT A CHANCE.

I don’t want to be numbed into complacency by a drug.  There are nagging issues I really need to address, and they’ll take a looooooong time to deal with. So they come next.  And they’ll hopefully lead me to a place where I don’t need a pill to feel normal.

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February 22, 2011. Tags: , . Getting happy, Medical avenues.

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